So I think as long as the Node community remains aware of the gender issues and goes to lengths to promote a friendly and tolerant environment that's the key. But to put it in perspective, I think that everyone should be doing that no matter your language of choice. :)
Obviously broader than the scope of this conversation, but let's not forget that /society/ is bad at this. You carve out a subsection of the larger culture, and, surprise! Sexism is still a problem. I find it absurd that anyone would think the larger tech community /wouldn't/ have this problem.
Thus, I'm pretty happy that, fex, the Node community seems to have a decent grip on keeping things under control, at least in the early days. There will be occasional trolls, newcomers, and people that don't "get it" yet, but I think the community leaders are leading responsibly.
You're right that it's not about the language of choice. But a community is made of people. I think that the Node community's niceness has little to do with JavaScript, and more to do with the fact that there were folks like you, mikeal, maxogden, nexxy, polotek, ryah, substack, janl, etc, who imprinted the community with your sense of values and a culture of kindness early on.
But keeping that ball rolling, as the community gets bigger, is very challenging, and it does stress me out a bit. It takes such a little match to set the whole thing on fire!
As along as it's experimental women are welcome (or at worst ignored) by the early adopter community. When it's proven to be economically lucrative, new players enter the field, turf war behavior kicks and - consciously or not - nothing seems easier than driving out a good part of potential rivals by resorting to means like sexism.
This happened in early film [1], early computing (ENIAC) [2] and now in seemingly every small programming sub-community on it's own. I'm just tired of waiting for this to end. We loose so much as a whole, by letting a small subset of people with the most reckless of tactics win again and again.
[1] http://muse.jhu.edu/books/9781421402093
[2] http://xplqa30.ieee.org/xpl/bkabstractplus.jsp?bkn=6451065
Keep being nice to each other at all times. At all times we'll be growing. Therefore at the end, we'll be nice to each other.
Don't let it slip, since one or two slips allow more.
Be nice, stay nice. :) It's a habit which can be kept.
In the last 3 years with Node, I've seen it go through some definite changes, and we have had to respond to those. I suspect that will continue.
Adria Richards' behavior was definitely a tactical misstep. With the benefit of hindsight, she should have reported the inappropriate behavior to the conference staff more discretely. Or, even, turned around and told them to show some respect. (And, if they didn't cut the crap, THEN get them kicked from the conference.)
I don't believe that what she did was inappropriate/unacceptable in any kind of moral sense, and I would gladly hire Adria if I was hiring for that kind of role. If a person is making jokes with sexual innuendoes during a talk, they shouldn't be at that conference, and shouldn't be surprised that there are consequences, no matter how many kids they have. Behavior in public is already public; putting it on the internet may make it more so, but it's not as if they had any expectation of privacy in the first place.
At the root, I'm glad she stuck up for herself somehow, rather than just kept quiet. She did so in a clumsy way, and has been castigated for it far more harshly than is useful.
Furthermore, this is a clear incident of sexism in our community. If I had done the exact same thing, there's no way that /r/mensrights would DDoS Joyent into firing me. This is why women feel unsafe and mistreated in our communities: because they are. If they stick up for themselves, they're going to face an onslaught of trolling, and even the ostensible "good guys" are quick to point out that yes, yes, we don't condone this sort of thing, but come on, She Was Asking For It.
As I said, her reaction was a tactical misstep. At a higher level, there's a strategic point about preventing these sorts of things from happening in the first place. How do we ensure that the next Adria feels empowered enough to tell the boys behind her to cut it out, where they realize their inappropriateness for the environment and apologize and the world moves on with dignity? How do we build communities that are compassionate, without so many pikes looking for heads?
Every time some shitstorm like this happens, we all lose a chunk of our humanity, no matter what side we're on, or who does or doesn't get fired.
I feel like a parent of a 14-year-old child, reading a news story about a 16-year-old dying in some horrible car wreck on prom night, knowing that mine will be that age soon enough.
Node is SO nice right now. As technology communities go, it's astounding how compassionate and friendly we've managed to keep things. Even in the face of some strongly held religious feelings about CoffeeScript or async or promises etc, we still talk to one another, like human beings. Our IRC channel and mailing list has a zero-tolerance policy for rude conduct. Our meetups are small and there are enough regulars to keep up a culture of "We don't do that sort of thing here" with respect to lewd jokes, homophobia, sexism, ableism, etc.
What happens when Node is as big as Python? How do we keep this going?