if you set the boundaries on their behalf, they just learn dependence and not how to establish boundaries for themselves. let them get in trouble while they're kids. as soon as they move out or go off to college, they'll be wise not to get caught and to be responsible for themselves if they've had practice doing it already. otherwise, like several people I grew up with, they'll go off the rails and flunk out because they don't have any self discipline and the freedom they were denied their whole childhood was intoxicating

> if you set the boundaries on their behalf, they just learn dependence and not how to establish boundaries for themselves.

That is not how that works.

If or when it does or doesn’t “work”

People need boundaries. Kids more so. That is not the whole story, not by a long shot. But to say “boundary bad”? Well, no.

Please. If you not have the self-awareness to avoid misquoted straw man effigy arguments in caveman phrasing you do not have the ability or remit to make good rules for others especially kids.