They can be abrasive all they want. People who are wrong still need to sit down and listen instead of spitefully "burning bridges".
And that's assuming they're actually guilty of this "abrasiveness" that people accuse them of. I don't actually think that's true. I think their comments are extremely informative and filled to the brim with valuable technical information. I've spent quite some time reading strcat's comments here and it's actually changed my viewpoints on some security matters. For example, I'm no longer as obsessed with knowing what's inside firmware as I used to be, it's better to minimize and isolate such black boxes so they can do no harm. I started valuing IOMMU support and grouping in PC motherboards.
If there's any "abrasiveness" in their posts, it's probably just an undercurrent of frustration with a world that simply refuses to understand or cooperate. A feeling I can't help but have enormous sympathy for.
While I wish that were how humans work, it definitely is not. You can make the strongest argument ever and still lose if you deliver it in a way that the listener can't process it because you're triggering emotions. The best arguments IME are factual and respectful.
There are consequences to ignoring GrapheneOS developers. Insecure phones can get people killed.
The best arguments are respectful and measured, but few things in this world are ideal. It's in your best interests to tolerate any perceived "abrasiveness". Ignore the the guys who make Cellebrite sweat at your own peril.
They are not neutrally pointing out places where their preferred priorities aren't being met (which would be reasonable), but they are speaking (forgive me the hyperbole) like religious zealots. I don't blame someone who doesn't share their particular viewpoint with being hesitant to work with someone like that.
As a consumer, I don't particularly care. I'm not going to make my decision based on their comms style. But a developer who actually has to work with them? Yeah I could imagine it mattering.