Well, if we're telling stats jokes...

A statistician is a man who with his head in the freezer and his feet in the oven can say "On the whole I feel perfectly normal."

Recommended reading: 'How to lie with statistics' - Huff, 1954

:)

The average body temperature of the people in a hospital is in the normal range. Many do have a slight fever, but some are in the fridge.

Our stat prof was a very special guy.

I’d recommend reading “How to make the world count” instead of a work of a morally bankrupt guy who used the very same tricks he criticized to discredit the cancer studies of tobacco usage.

I suppose you mean the book "How to Make the World Add Up" of Tim Harford?! :-)

Everyone should just read everything by Tim Harford and then the world would be a better place.

Busted! Yes indeed!

I'd recommend reading whichever book is better.

After all the average human has one breast and one testicle.

Amd less than 2 legs.

If even one person has 1 leg, then the average is strictly less than 2.

I’ve heard this phrased as “the average person has an above average number of legs”.

Wouldn't "the typical person has above average number of legs" or some such be better?

Yes, but less pithy. Placing the "average person" next to the "average number of legs" makes it clear that the idiomatic and intuitive sense of "average" that most people have is wrong. The more precise "typical person" doesn't make that same point as well, though an intelligent reader would certainly be expected to be able to read the same from it.

Median person?

Bill Gates walked into a bar. Everyone was, on average, a multi millionaire.

Large bar.

Haha yes, should have said average billionaire!

You _have_ to change the numbers each time, because you're constantly measuring and these things have basic variation. It would be unrealistic if the fake statistics were the same every time!

> the quote popularized by Mark Twain "Lies, damned lies, and statistics"

I’m increasingly convinced this is a thought-terminating cliche. Understanding the difference between a median, mean and mode is fundamentally empowering. Enough people, however, will stop themselves from trying to understand that by quoting such a joke.

Its more a foreshadowing of Simpson's paradox and a cluster of similarly counterintuitive effects. Statistical evidence that is technically of high quality can cause decision makers to believe the exact opposite of what is true.

> Statistical evidence that is technically of high quality can cause decision makers to believe the exact opposite of what is true

High-quality statistics allow themselves to be inspected. When a statistic is being passed around unadorned, particularly with a call to action, that’s no different from an uncited fact being accepted at face value. (Most of the complexity of statistics is in sampling. Most of the errors in statistical judgment tend to come down to misunderstanding how a sample’s statistics translate to the population you actually care about.)

I think it is rather a healthy skepticism.

Sure, a lot of people will not take their understanding any further, but most do not have the will or the time to do so.

Even knowing mean, mode and median is not enough. You really want standard deviation too. And that is just the basics.

Another good one: success in business is 40% people skills, 30% technical knowledge, 20% work ethic, and 15% basic math.