Overcoming the Friendship Recession

Re:Overcoming the Friendship Recession by mettamage on Tuesday March 24, 2026 @09:03AM (#47501981)

One thing I read on IG that one couple decided to do in NL was what they call "stoepen" ("stoep" is the Dutch word for sidewalk). They'd get some chairs to their front yard, which is connected to the sidewalk, and they'd greet people and start chatting with them. When vibes clicked they'd invite them to come sit with them, until people got in the habit of sometimes coming by and sitting with them.

So there's that. Obviously there are other ways, but thought it'd be fun to share.

Also research on self-disclosure might help. Long story short: be the first to reveal some details about yourself and progressively go deeper to the level that you want, it's kind of a tit for tat type of thing. There was one popular article about it so you could "fall in love" but IMO it's not love, it's simply building a deeper connection. Check it out [1].

I used to be really interested in topics like this, so if you want to know more about it or brainstorm, feel free to reach out. My email is in my profile.

[1] https://36questionsinlove.com/

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Re:Overcoming the Friendship Recession by giant_fern on Tuesday March 24, 2026 @09:52AM (#47502622)

Very similar to this "stoop coffee" concept

https://supernuclear.substack.com/p/stoop-coffee-how-a-simpl...

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Re:Overcoming the Friendship Recession by CalRobert on Tuesday March 24, 2026 @09:59AM (#47502725)

Ah Nice! I read about a couple in I think the Bay Area doing this too, to great effect

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Re:Overcoming the Friendship Recession by ralferoo on Tuesday March 24, 2026 @09:13AM (#47502102)

I wonder if that's actually related to the Afrikaans word "stoep", where it's used in the sense of verandah which is obviously where you'd sit outside the house and watch the word go by. Both meanings ultimately come from the original meaning of the word as "step".

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Re:Overcoming the Friendship Recession by mettamage on Tuesday March 24, 2026 @09:33AM (#47502356)

I mean...

they are written the same...

And given that it is Afrikaans, I guess so. Afrikaans always reads as "Dutch but it's a puzzle!" to me.

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Re:Overcoming the Friendship Recession by gausswho on Tuesday March 24, 2026 @10:23AM (#47503049)

It's still common parlance in New Amsterdam (New York) today. 'Stoopin it' with friends/strangers is thankfully quite alive.

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Re:Overcoming the Friendship Recession by tmp10423288442 on Tuesday March 24, 2026 @04:07PM (#47508357)

Although it unfortunately has a downscale connotation, to the point that there are racial slurs referencing it.

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Re:Overcoming the Friendship Recession by culopatin on Wednesday March 25, 2026 @01:23PM (#47520408)

Before the big cities of Buenos Aires and Rosario in Argentina got somewhat dangerous, this is what life was like. I remember in the 90s my family having mate and cookies in the afternoon outside their home on the sidewalk and everyone else would wave in and out their homes doing the same. It wasn’t like a cult where everyone did it at the same time, it would vary. Kids would meet after school and run around for a bit, decompress from sitting all day. It was nice.

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