The paypal mafia are all about stories. They can attract talent and investor money with those stories, but they are just tall tales full of hype, and people are catching on (ok that last bit might be a hopium).
Also, what is UDF?
Also sometimes Lua, which is kinda a nice middleground between c++ efficiency and python ease of writing
Google will inmon for the info factory
Google data vault
Joe reis is the guy for tying it up with a modern bow recently.
Designing data intensive applications book
If performance becomes an issue, just turn it into an MV... and then consider some indexing on the JSON itself.
Perhaps gov contractor speak would be more accurate. I'd think a corp with an org sufficiently aligned to their business value and profit motive wouldn't stand for the fancy speak either