It really depends on the child. I don't recommend MIT in particular to just anyone. Not sure if this lack of recommendation affects other top schools -- I don't have personal, intimate experience with them.
But it was the people I met and the stuff I worked on with them, and the relationships that forged, that stuck. The classes were useful and interesting but I’m very glad I made them the “side quest,” so to speak, and made “do interesting stuff with interesting people” the main quest.
you're making me question what I should do lol.
MIT is not for everyone. I saw many students completely fold under the pressure, both from the expectations of being told they were “gifted” their whole lives, and from the sudden realization that they might be in the top 1% but might still be in the bottom third at MIT; that is a new experience for many. Also, many students just never learned how to study, since public school was easy for them, so that’s a whole ‘nother thing.
The point is: MIT is amazing, and there are countless students who would do incredibly well there. From any given year’s applications, MIT could form dozens of full-sized classes and all would do very well. If your kid doesn’t get in, that doesn’t mean they aren’t worthy or good enough; they might just be in one of those other dozens of other-timeline also-great classes.
But there are people for whom MIT does not work well; ultimately, it’s the student that knows themselves best. Do they thrive under pressure? Is curiosity essentially their top value? For me, the moment I visited MIT I knew it was the place I wanted to be. These were my people. Now it was just a question of whether or not I won the lottery of getting in.
Interesting. My daughter right now is HS junior. I'm struggling with trying to decide whether the top schools are worth it or send to the local in-state. I feel that for undergrad it really doesn't matter, but its hard to fight the mob mentality of our area.