I feel the same as you about the awful externalities, but doing it anyway and refusing to enjoy it as 'penance' just isn't how I would want to deal with that. I really love driving, love the freedom of exploring things in cars, and love working on and fixing them. Instead, I work on sustainable biofuel tech- and even as a hobby use and test it out in my own vehicles.

Props to you for exploring some ways of mitigating the damage of your hobbies. I prefer EVs despite their increased road wear (at least compared to vehicles that haven't been super sized).

Having driven a lot in my youth, it's just not something I enjoy regardless. I'd rather spend the time and resources on other things. Even taking a longer bike ride to the store is preferred because it's exercise, almost everyone on the trail nods or waves back, and I know my choice is better for everyone in the community.

I also love cycling and engineless sailing- and see cycling as more practical transport around town, and cars for long distance recreational trips. In my lifetime I have put far more miles on bicycles than cars, as I’ve almost always had a daily bicycle commute to work. Sadly I no longer have a situation where bicycle commuting is possible, and miss it.