If the target of your joke isn't laughing (if they're upset by it), then it's not a joke, it's bullying. If they _are_ laughing/enjoying it, then it's playful banter. You're right, it very much varies by culture (culture here being as specific as "the specific group of people")

In a culture where banter is accepted, sometimes someone will be upset by something.

I think the current tendency to prevent all possibility to upsetting behaviour is overshooting the mark.

Against bullying is a good movement.

Against all possibly upsetting remarks is basically being against banter and killing a part of what makes us human. I hope that free speech remains allowed and to some extend "uncancelable".

Spent a lot of time in hunting and fishing parties with near constant teasing and in those situations its usually the rudest and most egotistical jerk who doesnt laugh and enjoy. They cross the line repeatedly, everyone takes it in good nature while internally counting the incidents, then eventually someone takes them down a peg and they act like a child.

So you're saying constant teasing is a fun way to weed out the jerks. Sounds about what I experience it to be. Never thought of it like that though: thanks!

Would you say this is more typical in groups of men, or among the men within a group? (I'm thinking about social situations myself now as well)

had some women join in who fit in, usually they had a background in highly competitive environments.

now that you mention it, id say when a woman does fit in, were all so struck by it that we let her steer most of the conversation. if i had to guess, its more typical in a culture where cooperative competition is accepted.

i managed a d1 women basketball team for a season and think their dynamic was similar. teasing was shorthand because it effectively communicated difficult-to-describe concepts using an emotional memory of "that one thing so-and-so did that one time" via a nickname or reference to an action.

    > Spent a lot of time in hunting and fishing parties with near constant teasing

God, why did you keep going? I would have dropped out after the first trip. The "constant teasing" would drive me crazy. And, to be especially personal and negative, I am sure that I would be a prime target. I never stick around for that.

hunting and fishing is almost entirely failure after failure with small opportunities and even smaller wins. these guys are all lifers and dont take things too seriously.

it would be mean to target people who weren't "in on it". when someone new enters the group everyone is nice and eases them into the banter. this is what i mean when i reference an internal "jerk instance counter" when a new guy isnt nice.

teasing becomes a shared language for effective communication. "the hill where Jake crapped his pants" is a very specific location that carries an emotional hook which helps memory. cut plug is a real type of bait, but in our circle refers to a person who overdid his bait every time and well use it as short hand to tell someone not to bother gold plating.

there are lines and we all learn them as long as we start with humble intentions to help each other