While you are joking, COM was born out of the UNIX way, more precisely Distributed Computing Environment.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Distributed_Computing_Environm...

Then we had that great experience called Taligent

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taligent

And naturally CORBA,

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_Object_Request_Broker_A...

NeXTSTEP's Portable Distributed Objects

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portable_Distributed_Objects

Which inspired Sun's Distributed Objects Everywhere written in Objective-C, followed by its reboot in Java as Enterprise JavaBeans.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Distributed_Objects_Everywhere