People in Japan tend to avoid talking about personal matters in the workplace. In my twenty years at a university here, I have met almost none of the spouses or partners of my colleagues, and there have been quite a few colleagues—including ones I worked closely with—whose marital or relationship status I never knew. Faculty social gatherings never included spouses or partners, except informal events organized by the foreign faculty. My impression is that the situation is quite different at universities in the U.S.
The exception was children: My Japanese colleagues—both male and female—often mentioned their kids, and at the campus where I worked until COVID it was not unusual for faculty to bring their children to the office during school vacations. The faculty all had private offices, and there was no problem with children hanging out there during the day. That would be much more difficult for office workers, though.
Another reason why Japanese people you meet seem reserved could be the language barrier. If they aren’t fluent in English, they may seem less outgoing than they would in their native language.
Good luck with your Japanese studies. Knowing the language makes things much easier here.
I don’t drink too, antisocial and still having a pretty good career by ditching happy hours, and all those after work nonsense.
This article is pretty bad nonetheless.
I don't drink and I never drank ever and was fairly well off by the end of it all. This is not a rare situation anymore either; I know a lot of younger Japanese people who simply refuse to drink. It's no surprise either; alcohol is not cheap on excursions, and the company doesn't pay the bill very often anymore.
Aren't generalizations implicitly simplistic for the majority, while not necessarily true for the minority?
Couldn't you say that you are generalizing too much about the author's generalizations?
I found your anecdotes interesting, but I often wonder why people take offense at generalizations.
East Asian countries are incredibly distinct from each other. I'm not sure that they value drinking beer more than Germans, or wine more than the French?
But one vacation spot I know had drunk Chinese die from drunk drowning on a weekly basis. Which may suggest that some groups drink too much, and lack self-control.
Yes, I would agree with that statement, at least regarding Japan. I don’t have enough first-hand knowledge to comment about other East Asian countries. As you noted, they seem to be quite different from each other.
Thank you for your comments on generalization. I will reply to just one:
> I often wonder why people take offense at generalizations.
One reason, I suspect, is that generalizations about groups of people can become stereotypes, and people can resent being stereotyped, especially if the generalization/stereotype has negative connotations or if it doesn’t apply to one as an individual.
[1] "If schools and firms explicitly encouraged more direct communication (as does happen in many international East Asian firms), maybe alcohol would be made redundant?"
[2] https://www.cia.gov/the-world-factbook/field/alcohol-consump...
So it is not exactly direct, but I don't have a good cultural reference to compare to either.
One data point: I grew up in the U.S. but have lived in Japan for the past forty-one years. I freelanced for Japanese companies for my first two decades here, and I have worked in academia for the last two. In both contexts, socializing does indeed often involve alcohol. But I have had what I consider to be two successful careers here without ever drinking alcohol in my life. I have also known Japanese men who were successful in business and who did not drink at all.
Yes, there are social situations where not drinking can be awkward. But, in my experience at least, if one just explains that one doesn’t drink, one can get through those situations without conflict or avoid them entirely without negative effects on one’s social life or career.
Also anecdotally: Some of the biggest social drinkers I have known in Japan were Americans or Brits. For some of them, there seemed to be a negative correlation between drinking and business success.