I'm sorry that happened to you. The phrase that made my then wife an ex-wife for me was "you're not supposed to be fixing yourself you're supposed to be fixing our marriage!"

Led me (with therapy and time) to realize what I meant to her; I was an accessory.

Oh wow, glad for you she’s ex now

Wut, wild for her to not see how those two are so interlinked that separating them is considered old fashioned nowadays by therapists.

"Snap out of it!"

lol

Sorry. I actually relate to this!

Same. And all the comparisons akin to "Hey what are you sad about? You don't live in a third world country struggling from meal to meal!"

Very helpful, thank you.

Ironically, "snapping out of it" is the best way I can deal with it

No other reasoning with myself works better than just "snapping out"

Sure, but that's something that only works when you say it to yourself and believe that it will work. It worsens the situation when it comes from someone else.

“Today is the day” and sometimes it just is.

It’s nice to tell yourself a story as to why this is the ideal moment to have a reset.

The thing that worked for me was getting so bored of being depressed that one day my mind went “Okay fine, you’re right, nothing matters. If nothing matters, then me feeling this way doesn’t matter either. I’ll just go do the things regardless of how I feel”

Been 20 years now. Works fine. The depression has been starved of attention, only comes back when I’m hungry.

Sounds like the latter...

> Nihilism is often associated with feelings of despair, pessimism, and apathy, as it challenges traditional beliefs and values. However, some argue that it can also lead to a sense of freedom and liberation, as it allows individuals to create their own meaning and values without being bound by pre-existing structures.

It is counter-intuitive to the traditional: find meaning and purpose dogma.

Years later, I read Viktor Frankl and his approach really resonated with me. He adds the nuance that you need meaning, but you can create your own out of anything.

Yes. Being depressed is SO boring. So is being in a psychiatric hospital because of deep depression (I've done that twice, in 1977 after a near-miss suicide attempt (pills) and in 1991 when I became anxiously non-functional and frightened).

Though I've never been in jail or prison, I suspect boredom is a dominant condition there too.