based on everything tim has written that shows extreme self-awareness about his working/productivity style, and the fact that he makes a lot of money for his family by doing occasional multi-day binges of work, i think it's fair to give him the benefit of the doubt that they have a system that allows him to show up for his family much of the time while also maintaining his output of work

Three cheers for being a functional workaholic. May we all aspire to such selfishness.

Some people have to make sacrifices for their families - making money takes time? effort? sacrifice? ZOMG! HOW DARE HE!

Selfishness? sacrificing for family - both on the fathers side to provide but also on the mothers side to take care of the fort?

That's not selfishness. That's called being a good father. husband. wife. mother.

The problem is that it isn't him making the sacrifice, it's his family.

Tim does not seem like the kind of person who would do something like that without the full support of his family.

I know people who spend most of the year away from their family and who are not bad parents. Sometimes sacrifices must be made to make things grow and invest in the future. Don't be so easy to judge.

We have absolutely no idea what their family dynamic is. We're armchair quarterbacking a whole marriage.

I'm not sure why you're defending them when we have no idea what their family dynamic is?

The virtues of “innocent until proven guilty” and being “charitable” about interpreting situations we have no business or ability to judge?

Self-deprecating humorous self-awareness is also a trifecta of positive signals to those that pick up on those frequencies.

A good explanation for why one would defend him was given earlier:

based on everything tim has written that shows extreme self-awareness about his working/productivity style, and the fact that he makes a lot of money for his family by doing occasional multi-day binges of work, i think it's fair to give him the benefit of the doubt

Giving people the benefit of the doubt makes the world a better place.

"it isn't him making the sacrifice" lol

So you think him not spending time with family isn't the same sacrifice that families around the world make every day in and out isn't a sacrifice?

Why do you think it's not a sacrifice? Because he enjoys his job? because it's "fun" and "entertaining"?

The problem here is that he is making a sacrifice - the sacrifice of giving his time to a career to provide for his family.

Let me ask you an honest question... if he spent that 40 hours in a cubicle and an addition 10 hours commuting to make less... would you consider that not a sacrifice? Of course you'd consider that a sacrifice - because he'd be giving his time to provide for his family.

So in this situation... he's giving his time to provide for his family.

Why does the fact he enjoys it/"it's playing with toys" challenge the fact that he's sacrificing his time to provide for family? Is it the "toy" aspect? Working from home? Jealousy about how lucky he is?

That's his day job. No different from a truck driver doing overtime away from his wife and child to feed the family.

Dude ain’t driving a big rig, he’s playing with a toy. One’s a need to make ends meet; ones just indulging in a luxury good for other’s distracted entertainment.

If you get paid for playing with a toy, and you do not get paid for other things, then that puts rather a different face on it.

That's like saying a guy in the NBA plays a game. I mean it's true one one level but on another level the guy just has a job.

Is there another way?

Of course there is. As a parent (no matter your gender) you have the legal responsibility to take care of your children until adult age. On the double for young children, such as a baby. This is priority #1 in your life. I was just ill half of January (some seasonal cold/flu/whatever) and even then this is priority over resting. A baby needs attention, food, drink, clean diapers, sleep, hugs/massage (vs tummy cramps), safety (parent available). Furthermore, you and your significant other are a team of caregivers. You need to act like a team player ie. communicate and propose. Yes, you can have leisure time (tho not much with a newborn in my experience, it already gets better with a baby) but it is about giving and taking, balance between family, work, and fun. For example, he could use the device one hour a day. It would've just been a longer project, or less extensive.

Anyway, I just brush it off as tough boy talk. He did communicate and work it out with his significant other and she agreed. Not in the sense he said I am unavailable for a week good luck with your life see you in a week.

"priority #1" and as part of his priority? making money to pay the bills. While wife takes care of the kid.

People around the world and throughout history sacrifice for their kids... we should all be so lucky. He's able to sacrifice from the comfort of home... some sacrifice in coal mines or on oil rigs or on long commutes to long days in factories.

Complaining that dad has to work to provide is a first world problem.

I don't see his time with this headset as work but as fun/play. I guess we disagree on that.

This is how he makes his income, is it not?

I really enjoy programming and find it fun/engaging. It’s still work, because it’s how I earn money.

Other people work as tour guides or travel writers. Do you see what they do as playing around traveling or as work?

I'm not sure he makes his income with writing reviews like this?

Sure, you could make your hobby a job. But if they experiment with a device like this to see if it enhances their work it is kinda like the 80/20 rule at Google. It could turn out productive, inspiring. But I wouldn't want to bet on it. It wouldn't be the main task of his job.

Even the 20 part of Google work is work, IMO, whether it turns out to be productive/inspiring/useful.

I work as a computer programmer. I sit behind a desk and I have fun solving problems... while getting paid to use technology.

You may not see it as work... but the guy is literally getting paid for it.

No offense but it doesn't matter what you see or what you think you see - what matters is what's really happening.

And what's really happening is this guy has gotten REALLY lucky: He's got a job where he can have "fun/play" doing something that pays his bills. That doesn't make his "sacrifice" anything less because it's enjoyable (sacrificing time with wife/kid(s)). It makes his sacrifice enjoyable but he still has to make the same sacrifice that parents around the world make on the daily.

I guess I'd ask you honestly... do you see professional streamers or gaming streamers as working? Destiny, Vaush, Asmond Gold, pewdiepie, etc? I know streamers that spend 12 hours a day online engaging in content to make money - and a few of them have kid(s). They are having fun and making money while working their asses off to better their lives and, presumably, their families lives.

They aren't slaving in a coal mine or sitting with dead looks in their eyes in a cubicle but they are making money and ends meet. Just because they are lucky (and work their asses off) doesn't mean they aren't also sacrificing.

But I digress. I'm lucky enough to love what I do as well so I think the fact this guy can provide for his family by playing with toy is fucking awesome.

If he is productively working, then he needs to balance work and his RL responsibilities. His review on this device does not have higher importance than his baby, and the way he worded it is misogynistic (but like I said some men like to sound like tough boy when it comes to this, overstating their power in family while in reality he may get pussy whipped over something like this).

As for the examples you mention, I only know Asmongold (and Pewdiepie from committing suicide). Asmongold is a child in an adult body. But I think that is true for a lot of influencers. I find them overrated but they can consider themselves lucky in their niche. Either way, they're exceptions, not the rule of thumb.

Lots of people don’t balance their responsibilities in the way you are talking about.

For example, soldiers on deployment or travel sales people, or people who work foe international organizations or migrant farmers… all have to leave home for weeks to months in order to earn money.

Are we assuming that he works like this all year long? It seems that he did a short stint of work “heads down” in an AR/VR device to write a story. That is analogous to his saying “Hey, Family, I need to take a trip for work for the next week. See you when I get back”. That seems pretty normal and not at all irresponsible.

"does not have higher priority"

Where do you have ANY evidence that his kid is being neglected? We are literally talking about 1 week. 1 freaking week. A long week of over time.

"misogynistic"

lol working with his wife as a team to take care of their kid is misogyny? I'm sorry but you obviously have a different definition. Because there's nothing bad about sacrificing for your family - even if you have fun while doing so.

Just like my question about you having proof of anything bad about this exchange as one half of the couple... what proof do you have of anything nefarious, misogynistic (other than the wording you don't approve of) or being "pussy whipped". I question your motives as your statements show you have your own bias that makes having a real conversation with you questionable.

"exceptions, not the rule of thumb" Correct. They are exceptions because they have fun doing what they do. the vast majority of people don't enjoy what they do. They work to live. Most people have jobs - not careers they love. They make money to provide for those they love (even if that's only themselves).

The rule is people sacrifice for themselves and their family.

The only part of this conversation that's the exception is the fact that this guy gets to play with an over priced toy and gets paid for it. He's still sacrificing (and without proof of neglect or harm to wife/kid - at least no more than any other 9/5 job would be considered).

Nothing you've said challenges my position that he's lucky for doing it but he's still sacrificing for his family. Props to him.

I agree with everything you said. It's played for laughs, but it's a misogynistic joke about men having all the power and women having all the responsibility for child rearing. We can do better.

I just love how downvoted you are! Really shows the true hn crowd, the kids themselves.

Kids that probably have an over-representation of Y chromosomes and swollen egos, so it tracks.

Yes, a lot of them.

Doing his job to provide for his family. How terrible.

I thought it was pretty funny.

Haha so where is your Vision Pro review on the front page of HN? :))

And where is my baby? WHERE IS MY BABY?

He basically took a one week business trip but instead of flying to a conference, he’s on a virtual trip.

If he had actually flown somewhere would you consider him to be an irresponsible father?

I'd wager most parents would do their best to avoid a week away from home for work if it meant their partner looking after their baby solo.

Why? I’m a father and I’ve had such periods of Looking after the baby solo while mom was on a 1week vacation. Why is that such a huge issue to you? I’m guessing you don’t have children and you have all sorts of incorrect ideas about how incredibly hard it must be, but it’s just a week with a bit less non-baby focused time. It’s not like it’s incredibly difficult or anything.

In a good family dynamic, everyone goes with the flow of what needs to be done.

The kids too.

In times of great distress I can imagine a parent being away temporarily being considered a hardship.

Otherwise, it’s good for kids to spend time with different configurations of parent. And grandparents or extended family if they are lucky.

Also, in this case he wasn’t actually gone all the time. He was still there during the time he wasn’t using the AVP.

Doing their best to avoid it does not mean always avoiding it. People travel for work all the time, and many of them have kids.