I want to take “agile” proponents to a track and make them run Fibonacci multiples of 100m over and over with the only break being to ask how far they want to run next.

Who can sprint forever? It doesn’t make any sense! When do we rest? When do we train? What is this metaphor!?

Nice straw man you've got there. You're really beating the crap out of that thing. "Sprint" is just a term for something you can also call an "iteration." No one is expecting you to actually go full-throttle 24/7.

Then why not call it an iteration, or a round, or a week, or a month, or a cycle, or literally anything other than "sprint"?

Oh, right, because you're supposed to sprint it because that's maximally profitable (in the short-term, anyway).

What ever would our beloved boards of directors do if they found out we weren't working fast? ;)

Eh, that is exactly the omega-point that end-stage capitalism is converging on.

I love it when people use the phrases "end-stage capitalism" or "late-stage capitalism," because it's basically a flashing neon sign saying "you can ignore me, because I have absolutely zero credibility." Makes it easy to move on.

Speak for yourself, buddy.

Obviously he did. I guess you wanted to say "I disagree" but phrase it more aggressively?