I don't believe I advocated for excusing their behavior, but I don't think it's fair to label a kid as "a violent person who can't control themselves"

I disagree in most cases of 18-year-olds specifically, but even if I didn't, I think you should amend your original post to make your point more specific. It's hard to read it as not excusing his violence to some degree based on the comment you were replying to, even with a generous reading.

The idea that we should, to some extent, organize society around neurotics to the detriment of young boys is disturbing.