> Even the Garmin stuff is problematic. I had a Garmin watch crap out entirely while up a mountain.

I switched into the Garmin environment some years ago. Have my second watch now and spread it all over the family. Never had I one person having any kind of issues with it and we have both outdoor and everyday models.

Which model would you recommend for a desk jockey who either runs or lifts weights a few days a week and goes hiking and climbing on weekends?

Garmin's watches have differentiating features, but any Garmin sportswatch will be sufficient for what you're doing. The biggest differences between the watches are the screen.

Venu/Vivoactive is a perfectly fine starting point. Move upwards if you need specific sensors, on-device music playback, etc. Upgrade to the Fenix if you want the better battery life and you're not bothered by the dim screen. Upgrade to the Epix if you want the better battery life of the Fenix and you can't live without a bright screen.

When I got my Fenix I thought the screen would bother me, but I got used to it quickly. If you've got a traditional smartwatch and you're moving to a Garmin, the Fenix might be an adjustment. Readability in direct sun can be problematic, (especially trying to read it on a bike) only you know whether or not that matters for your use case.

The cheapest one with GPS. If you choose a model with a small watch face but you don't have dainty wrists, make sure you can find a longer after-market band first.

I had a Fenix (can't remember which one) that would crash with specific GPX files were used. Also wouldn't talk to anything other than windows occasionally. I think someone else reported the latter as well.

I really want an Apple Watch, but without the watch, because I can't find another fitness tracker that does the same and integrates into Apples Health app. I just don't want it enough to start wearing a watch.

With all the custom faces it can be as little watch or as much watch as you want it to be, plus 4-6 other points of information(depending on the face you choose). Weather, temperature, air quality, wind speed/direction, messages, compass, exercise tracker, calendar, etc… it’s a mini display for many data points at a glance.

That's really my issue, I want to see NONE of those things. Just a much smaller device with a week or two of battery life that sync data to my phone or laptop when its near. I want unobtrusive fitness/sleep/health tracking, not live feedback.

You want a Garmin.

The Garmin product that's closet to what I want is the VivoSmart 5, but it still has a screen. I want to track fitness, but not have the time of day available. It's a pretty specific requirement I know, but I don't want to know the time if I can avoid it.

Might I suggest the Withings watch. I love mine. I also wanted something rather simple without all the bells and whistles of an Apple Watch. It’s a hybrid smart/dumb watch. It looks like a classic watch but tracks HR, sleep, fitness, etc and you can receive notifications on it if you want as well (you can’t respond however). If you don’t have your phone on you, you can sync the data later on, battery lasts a month or more and it’s waterproof.

I got the sapphire glass model so I don’t have to worry about the watch face getting scratched up.

Edit: Got my watch a few years ago so I have an older model . Don’t think they carry my model anymore (Sapphire Steel HR) but their newest models look pretty comparable and probably checks all the same boxes.

Edit 2: my bad, didn’t see you’re requirement about not wanting to know the time of day. The Withings watch looks like a classic analog watch, so might not actually be what you’re looking for after all. Maybe try the Oura ring.

My mistake. I had thought you just didn’t want the time/watch. You want no display at all. Seems like a simple enough request.

> I wouldn't recommend sleep tracking. At least in my case, it makes me sleep worse worrying about it.

It's the only thing I find useful about these trackers, I love knowing how long / 'well' I slept since I find it very hard to understand intuitively. I notice that when I get bad 'sleep scores' I'm more conscious about giving myself time to rest and sleep better the following days.