Re:Anxious brains redirect emotion regulation
by Cthulhu_ on Monday August 21, 2023 @07:34AM
(#37208111)
But your actions may have good intentions but still end up getting a bad reaction. Think codependency; you may have good intentions dealing with the other person's bad behaviour, but you're still encouraging the bad behaviour that way, and you may still resent your own actions despite your good intentions.
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Re:Anxious brains redirect emotion regulation
by mindwok on Monday August 21, 2023 @07:46AM
(#37208187)
That's the idea though, if your intentions are sound but you're not getting the reactions you expect, then you need to re-evaluate how you're acting. The important part is not to beat yourself up about it - bad reactions are just a way for you to learn and correct your actions, fundamentally you are still the person you think you think you are.
Re:Anxious brains redirect emotion regulation
by lazide on Monday August 21, 2023 @08:54AM
(#37208894)
They key thing here is that what you’re describing can be interpreted several ways.
One could be maladaptive (long term) and is the easy approach (or may be necessary to survive short term) - ‘oh, I need to be nicer or give more’, or ‘oh, I need to manipulate them or make them be okay with this’ which is the codependent approach.
The other is to step back, realize perhaps you’re already giving too much, and it’s time to leave (safely) or deal with more blowback at the moment to set a boundary even at the risk of real problems.
That takes courage and a wider view, exactly what is hard to do when in these situations though.