Im pretty sure everybody gets energized once they've gotten fully comfortable with someone.

That process of getting comfortable is the relevant context though - not a virtual dial in their brain that goes from "introvert" to "extrovert".

Ha, I wish. The level of comfort with someone really only effects the rate of energy drain, at least in my case.

But that's not what I'm saying - I'm saying conversation drains me even if I'm with someone I'm comfortable with. I'm tired when it's over. My wife is not. She comes home excited.

It's very much like I have a hidden meter for dealing with other people. Once it's full, I'm done with people. It doesn't really matter how much I like or trust these people. I can get burned out from talking to folks at work and need space from my family and vice-versa. I just need time to be alone and not have to consider making conversation or entertaining anyone. I need space for my thoughts to expand and to not be constantly distracted by other people's "noise". I love my wife. I love my kids. I enjoy spending time with them. But when that social meter is full, regardless of how it got full, I have little ability to engage with them.

> Im pretty sure everybody gets energized once they've gotten fully comfortable with someone.

They don't though. You just sound like an extrovert that can't fathom that introverts exist.

Even if my family visit me and I am comfortable with them, I will still be extremely tired when they leave. I won't feel "energised"

hmm, that's an interesting perspective. see my comment here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=36795067 i can definitely see that the comfort level is a factor. however, it can take a long time before i get comfortable with someone. i have no idea how much, but a few hours at a party are almost never enough, unless we hit the right topic. so yeah, after those conversations i was bouncing off the walls too.

likewise i have given presentations on various topics in front of dozens or hundreds of people. my comfort level depended on how well prepared i was, and how the audience reacted. during the speech part anxiety is higher because i get little to no feedback, but then the Q&A can turn things around if people have lots of questions that show their interest in the topic.

oh, and when i am drained, i can't go to sleep. i have to do something interesting for myself for at least an hour or more in order to divert my thoughts away from the draining experience.