Not sure if you're being sarcastic or not but I recently met a girl with an amazing smile and tons of confidence who stared in to my eyes for hours on end and it's exactly that which had such an effect on me.

Most assuredly not the same as someone getting in your face as you're walking by as part of their generous volunteer effort to save you from your sorry life.

I’m just going to add a “woosh” here for the literalists in the crowd replying to this.

Wolves and monkeys do that when expressing threat and dominance. But we use to say "hi, I want to be your friend". Hmmm.

Reminds me of "interrogative greetings" : WHAT'S UP?! HOW YOU DOING??! WHAT'S GOING ON??!!

My vision of the future is a big, smiling, full-eye-contact WAZZZUP!!!! in your face, forever.

Don't forget uninvited and thorough intrusions of personal space! /s

See someone looking down? Just give them a surprise hug! /s

It actually worked for me a couple of times because it was someone I was attracted to!

You probably weren't a stranger to them, though.

Surely there's a money angle. I'm looking for a new career.

They just need to add more flair, right?

That sounds positively scary. Also, there will be no eye contact unless both sides are willing to maintain it.