I feel like this is demented, frankly. If you loved your wife, then you would only want her to flourish. It seems necessarily disordered to think about your expectations of your partner in terms of "I should be her top priority." You should expect that she treats you with respect, obviously, and that might mean different things for different people, but I think centering the idea of "she must see me as Numero Uno" is a bad way to think about a lifelong relationship.

A healthy relationship is one where each partner is dedicated selflessly to the flourishing of the other partner.

In any case, the idea of a "number one person" is also really two dimensional and limiting.