When your partner can't get it up because they've been abusing porn, you're incentivized to not like it just for personal reasons. And that's without even touching the fact that your partner is getting off to images of someone else.

There's nothing "liberal" about porn. Porn is neither conservative nor liberal, it is libertine.

I think a lot of people blame porn for erectile dysfunction, but that's far from a leading cause: https://www.samhealth.org/about-samaritan/news-search/2022/0... and https://www.goodrx.com/conditions/erectile-dysfunction/top-1...

I guess this is also a good time for vulnerability since we're talking patriarchy. I've had periods of erectile dysfunction and they almost always overlapped with periods of intense stress or depression. Other times it had to do with my diet. That didn't stop some people at the time bringing up my porn use, which feels really nasty and humiliating when it happens to you.

That isn't to say there aren't men who desensitize themselves, but I suspect that's more prevalent in young men and more of a minority in general. It is a provocative thing to bring up in conversation.

Fine, then "can't last as long", or "isn't as in to it".

I just find all of this really problematic, but maybe that's just me. I'd never make these assumptions or say these things to a woman.

> When your partner can’t get it up because they’ve been abusing porn, you’re incentivized to not like it just for personal reasons.

If your partner prefers interacting with porn to doing so with you, the porn use is a symptom, not the source of the problem.

Maybe at first, but just like alcohol or any other addiction it becomes its own problem over time.

Anything enjoyable (and many things that are not even that) can be addicting and in some cases enought to be a problem. That however is not an argument for banning it altogether or that it is morally unacceptable.

And most additictions really are just a symptom for other problems.

I strongly suspect the actual relationship is the other way around--it's a problem with their relationship that drove them to porn.

Maybe for some, but for people who start with porn before they ever have a relationship, this cannot be the case. At least not entirely.

The problem with this “false consciousness” stuff is that it’s ripe for manipulation. The intellectual foundation of most academic liberalism today is a “bunch of old white guys.” The sexual revolution, similarly, was a bunch of liberal men telling young women not to listen to their mothers.

It is an error to assume that what women “really want” is “freedom from modesty.” It’s clear how that helps men. But how does it help women?

Not all of dismantling the patriarchy is about achieving things for women. It's about achieving equality among the sexes. If you want modesty, that's a choice you get to make, if you don't then that's a choice too. The point is not making it a default that people feel obligated to.

That’s just individualistic libertarianism, which is overwhelmingly a male thing. Women benefit from and favor collective moral norm enforcement, because they’re less able to protect themselves individually, and bear higher social costs when things go wrong. Look around at who makes the moral rules in society. From universities to HR departments to churches, it’s women.

That sounds silly and overtly sexist. I learned what I said to you by listening to my girlfriend and other women over the years.

And I learned what I said from my wife. What part do you disagree with?

All of it. It's not accurate to the history of patriarchal deconstruction, who founded it, or the stragies used. If you want an accurate history give this a read: https://www.pacificu.edu/magazine/four-waves-feminism

Fourth wave feminism is where we're at now for context.