How could one do a "real" apology? How would it be different?

“I’m sorry for seeming like an asshole. I seemed like an asshole because I was, in fact, being an asshole, without caveat. You’ve every right to call me out on it. As a show of sincerity, and to show these aren’t just empty words, I’ll return this $3.9 million bonus I received.”

It’s funny and sad that this sort of _blazingly obvious_ and simple response is a difficult-to-imagine outlier.

Right exactly.

This can be generalised easily into a template for a genuine apology:

I'm sorry for doing X - I was wrong. I'll try to do Y better in future.

Note:

- It acknowleges fault, takes personal responsibility and doesn't blame others

- It doesn't make excuses

- It makes a commitment to improvement with concrete action

Everyone makes mistakes. If you think you don't make mistakes or always shift blame onto others you have a problem.

As a fun parlour game, look at this list and think how many of these attributes CEOs you have worked with share https://www.choosingtherapy.com/signs-of-a-psychopath/

1. You apologize for your actions, not for the way they were taken. "I'm sorry for what I did", instead of "I'm sorry for how you interpreted what I said".

2. You don't belittle the feelings of others using words like "I'm sorry my rallying cry seemed insensitive" instead of "I'm sorry that my rallying cry was insensitive".

3. You attempt to make amends.