Short, choppy sentences, lots of second-person, dropping a "punch-line" sentence to its own paragraph like they're a fucking magician revealing the card you pulled earlier. It's some kind of cross between transparent rapport-building sales-psychology crap and setting off a fireworks display to celebrate your successfully assembling a PB&J.

Like listening to a used car salesman tell a mundane story about their morning commute.

But full of unearned and over-the-top dramatic pauses.

It sucks to say, but it drives engagement in a way that keeps getting clicks and reposts to a blog from 2012, in a way that one written like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensitivity_and_specificity wouldn't.

EDIT: I tried here https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35533897 but hacker news filtered my title so its not as clickbaity as I wanted anymore.