I think the stark contrast of a guys matches/inbox to a girls matches/inbox is whats demoralising to most guys. I once read an apt expression for this where the men are thirsty in a desert and the women are thirsty in an ocean. I have all but given up on online dating and simply socialize in person. If I meet someone I like I would just ask them out. If it works out great if not hopefully I made the other person feel better about themselves.