No, this interpretation of authentic is exactly what I'm shooting at, you should definitely do things to get a specific outcome. If you don't start doing those things and integrate it into your personality, you'll never actually make it part of your personality. Sure it will be inauthentic at first, but you HAVE to go through that stage or else you'll never get there. Bonus points if you understand why those societal guidelines exist and accept that they're not totally bullshit.

The flip side is you don't accept the guidelines that society suggests and you spend your days lonely (waiting for the chance encounter with the person who somehow isn't wired to social expectations) when you could have been working on those muscles, most of which if practiced through your relationship will likely make your relationship better off.

What you shouldn't do is compromise your integrity. Like doing shitty things just because other people say you should.

But there is a distinction between integrity and authenticity that is important. The former is critical, the latter is something that is generally overrated.

> Example, younger me would go on dates, and try to be the person the other person wanted (without realizing this until later in life)... This kind of inauthentic actions

But that's the thing. Being a "people pleaser" was the authentic younger you. Possibly coming out of a place of desperation. Thank goodness you figured your shit out and changed your personality to something that was inauthentic, at least in the beginning