People still "have" it but it's mostly a ghost town. That's maybe a function of your friend group, but I have a feeling that younger people do not use Facebook for dating and adventure like they did in, say, 2008 (when I got an account).

Does reddit without the redesign count as social media? if not I've been off since 2011. If so, why doesn't hn count?

Not by my definition:

A main difference between {MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.} and {reddit, hn, chronological forums, etc.} is that the former heavily rely on following/friending (i.e, establishing your social network) while the latter do not. Thus, the latter are not "social media" in the sense of media existing in a social network.

Also, I find that when replying to something in the former I'm thinking about the person (I know them, in some sense) and what they said, while in the latter I'm thinking almost exclusively about what they said (I probably don't know the person). The latter lacks that social element.

You are on a social media app right now. Why don't people seem to understand this? Maybe what has changed is that everybody on the internet is just a moron nowadays?

No personalized feed, no "friending", no statuses, no social network.

If every forum qualifies, you're using the term so broadly that it's useless. That's what everyone else understands, which is making it seem to you like they're missing something you see. They're not.

But upvotes/downvotes, karma, and a non-chronological feed (both for submissions and for comments in threads). Those already do some damage.

> a non-chronological feed

For comments that's mostly a consequence of a tree-based commenting model, whose huge benefits over linear model more than offset any "damage" caused by it not being strictly chronological.

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