But believing this to be the case isn’t incompatible with respecting that they feel different from the “normal” archetype or just generally acknowledging their preferred identity as it’s the closest thing they’ve got to describe themselves.
Most people aligned with a given label are pretty reasonable and won’t demand you do anything too out of your way. Yes there are many exceptions but such is the case for every dimension of identity. This one is just a dimension that many people are eager to assert doesn’t exist.; Sometimes asserting that if you can’t cleanly identify as something easily defined that you’re just making up your differences which is of course also incorrect reasoning.
People suck at such types of thinking and most cultures encourage against it to empower in group unity.
You’re not a bigot for doing this. You are being an asshole nonetheless. And you don’t come off as more intelligent, just more clueless; even if you are in fact more intelligent.
Would you also suggest we pretend the voices that a schizophrenic hears are actually there and real? If not, why not? It's real to them..
It's a way of legitimizing the whole thing, so e.g. rather than men saying "I want to be a woman", they can lean on this idea of gender identity and say "I am a woman", where "woman" has been redefined as "anyone with a female gender identity". And per the definition of gender identity, a man can be said to have a "female gender identity" if he wants to be a woman. Naturally, this redefinition has turned out to be quite controversial.
Nobody seems prepared to answer that question, yet it is a requirement to define this. Unless the argument really just boil down to "we make shit up as we go and you need to accept it or you're a bigot".
Someone may simply feel non binary as a high level and honestly descriptor of their gender. Which is to say that they feel the gender implied by their sex is a bad fit.
The existence of some people that take this to extreme labels that seem unlikely to be distinct and noteworthy classifications does not invalidate others who take more moderate steps that are probably genuinely more accurate assessments.
It really does sound like people are just taking the concept of personality and tryin to overlay it on something where it doesn't fit, only leading to increased confusion. Ultimately, what is the point? What is the goal?