When you did your experiment did you not have at least some of your relationships grow stronger because of it?
I'm not going to say there aren't downsides, though. It makes dealing with the rest of humanity difficult because strangers still get upset. As such, I've taken to just smiling at strangers and not talking about anything of substance at all. If they try to lead it there, I generally just grin and nod no matter the topic. If they push, I give them full honesty and they either scurry away, or don't.
It also caused problems in my previous job because when someone asked a question, I'd give an honest answer instead of hedging. That made me 'unapproachable' and I took a hit on my yearly review, every year. I even made a girl cry because I told her she was wrong. When she said that a manager told her that info, I told her the manager was wrong. And he was. 100% wrong. She cried. She was really good at her job, but just couldn't handle anything outside her world view... And managers were always right, to her.
And of course, romance is tougher... Last year, I finally found a girl that is open and honest like me, and we have mutual attraction, and it's working out quite well. Most of my previous relationships died because they were based on lies. I don't blame them for that, it's just a fact.
How do you manage the fact that you might be attracted to other women? I believe it's normal, and it's also normal that men don't speak of that to their girlfriends or wives, or give "white lies".
(I'm not talking about cheating, open arrangements or anything). What the guy in the article did is what many would want to do
If she asked me if a girl was hot, I'd answer. (And have.) I don't go around hollering about how beautiful women are, though. Stating the obvious has never been a fault of mine.
Only if it's done in the way the author does it in the article. Blurting out everything at once is too hard to distinguish from passive agressive smallness. Also, you'd best have done some work first to ensure you don't have some passive agression leaking out somewhere in the first place.
The right way to do this is to not say too much at first, but to also actively seek out those who value the truth. Sharing the truth like sharing intimacy -- it's best done consensually.
Look for those who will take substantive stands, and filter away those who are just saying things to curry favor or fit in. Welcome even those you might disagree with. Admit when the other has a point, and see what they do with that. People reveal whether they really care about the truth rather quickly. Those who do not care often reveal that unknowingly.
The only tact necessary is to withhold an opinion by claiming ignorance or unfamiliarity with a topic and to sincerely respect others. One can usually do both truthfully -- very few people are the world's best experts at a given thing, and few can claim to know all the details of another's situation. If you have the humility to understand this as the truth, then you can usually exercise tact without resorting to untruthfulness.
I was out drinking one night many years ago right around the time mullet spotting became a meme. Several beers into the evening I spotted a college age kid walking into the bar sporting a classic example of the tennis mullet. Being a service minded individual (not to mention very drunk) I marched over to him and asked him if he was aware he had a mullet and directed him to http://www.mulletsgalore.com/ the next time he was near a computer. The kid looked at me like I was nuts but he wrote the URL down. Mission accomplished I went back to drinking with friends.
A month later at the same bar I was approached by a vaguely familiar dude with a sharp looking haircut. He introduced himself, thanked me profusely for telling him about mullets and bought me a round before joining up with the rest of his friends. Apparently the kid just hadn't heard of mullets yet and I'd done him a real service by bringing him up to speed on the subject.
However, if that solution takes time to be alleviated, such as being grossly overweight, ugly or simply stupid, these kinds of "honest truths" will cause true harm because they will cause strong self-esteem hits that will linger over time. I for one would be happy and want with these kind of "temporary hurtful truths" told to me. I would like to say I would be the same for the long-term ones, but I'm sure I would be truly hurt just the same.
Seriously, the idea that I could have just not realised I'm fat baffles me.
Clip from white chicks about that (opposite of a fat person thinking they are not, but similar principal I guess): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Gy4xMgArmk (dressing room scene -- possibly NSFW)
I don't take it to this unnecessary extreme (there are better ways of putting most of the things he said and still being just as honest), but it really does work.
Also, certainly, committing to telling the truth doesn't mean having to utter every thought that comes to mind and answer every question put to you.
I never really lied to people in the first place, but I would offer standard niceties. Those counted as lying and were no longer said. It's hard to say who was most offended. I can say that the least offended typically were somewhat antisocial themselves; those who found social norms something to analyze, rather than to follow.
Despite what you may think about the righteousness of the Truth, people get offended. People get offended at even the slightest of things. Even if they're completely obvious.
We have social filters because they help people get along. The people around us don't want to know our real thoughts and opinions because they are often hurtful or awkward. It shouldn't matter, in the normal course of interaction, what I think about you, your clothes, how you talk, or what I think about anything. By filtering out some of my thoughts & opinions, I avoid pouring sand into the gears of interpersonal relationships.