> we'll pay anyone to take this power before the grid blows up

that's not how that works.

also:

Dunkelflaute is 0.5% - 1.5% per year and only very rarely for longer than 24h. peaker power plants are turned off most of the time today and a combination of those and decentralized battery storage will easily buffer Dunkelflaute in Germany.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunkelflaute