> Just go talk to random people in stores.

I'd like to counter-argue with a quote from this random Reddit thread in /r/AskWomen [1] titled "What is one place you hate to be hit on?":

> Grocery store. I'm just like, dude, leave me alone, I'm here to get my food and get out as quickly as possible. I'm not interested in having to pretend not to be annoyed by you interrupting my day, fuck off.

And I'd like to point out that "Earth" is also an answer there.

I feel for the OP because he's stuck between a rock and a hard place: hitting on women is often annoying for the woman being hit on, but at the same time not hitting on women means that he can only date people who he meets for reasons other than dating. It's like a Zen riddle: "What is that which you can only have once you stop desiring it?".

This is the landscape that gave rise to the hell we call "dating apps", and I really wish we had something better.

[1] https://old.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/pzojno/what_is_on...

In my experience, the voices you read on Reddit are a special breed of high-anxiety thinkers. Especially in dating/relationship threads. I think a lot of people on there are bent out of shape from some experience, and that’s why they’re on Reddit talking about dating and relationships instead of doing them. I avoid using reddit posts as a gauge for anything about people in real life. Not saying go out and start hitting on women at the bus stop, but there’s nothing weird or socially unacceptable about talking to strangers if you don’t make it weird. Just ask a small question or make a comment about something in the environment. Don’t say “I couldn’t help but notice your beautiful eyes m’lady.” Band shirt, how do you cook that vegetable, whatever. If there’s tension, she’ll invite you to keep talking to her. If there’s not, move on.

I'll expand this to say: talk to people.

It's just so easy to understand when you look at it logically. Talking to people (skillfully, which requires practice) will eventually lead to befriending some percent of those you talk to. Befriending people will lead to more opportunities to befriend others from a place of more trust. It's a simple networking process.

Eventually, some percent of the people you're meeting and befriending will be love interests. There will be mutual attraction, especially when you don't come across as desperate. Eventually some small percent of these mutual attractions will also be compatible partners under the right circumstances.

It's just a numbers game!

The problem is people design their conversion funnels all wrong. At the top of the funnel is conversations, then acquaintances, friends, mutual interests, compatible interests, partners.

At every stage there is a network/feedback effect leading to more input at the top of the funnel.

Go talk to people!

Yeah exactly. Online is the worst place to learn how to meet women in real life.

There is a philosophy that has propagated recently that ‘it can’t hurt to ask’. I’m guessing this comes from popular self help gurus. I once fielded of a lot of questions from these people due to a job I had and it is incredibly annoying. I had to start being rude to people. I can only imagine how much worse it would be to be an attractive female.

I'm saying talk to men and women because it shouldn't be just "hitting on" people, it should be "talking to people." And if you don't like to get talked to at the grocery store, I mean, fine, don't respond or put in earphones. If I never talked to anyone because of my fear that they didn't want to get talked to, then I'd never have talked to anyone at all.

As long as you are talking about pertinent things, and not hauling out meetup-lines.

"Do you know a good brand of pasta sauce? I don't like garlic, and it seems everything has garlic in it."

"Are the waist sizes honest here? I'm a 36 but some places that's like 40 inches."

And leave it at that. Maybe somebody will continue the conversation, but most won't. It's a numbers game.