Everyone's story is different. What op is doing might be right for op. Or maybe not. But as the child of divorcees whose divorce massively improved my relationship with both of them I thought it might be helpful perspective.

Sure, I hear you but not all cases of divorcees end up well for the children. When both parents end up fullfilled post marriage and manage to move over the financial hurdles the kids are better off with separated/divorced but happy parents, however that’s not always the case. And nowadays a divorce can severely handicap one of the parents in a financial way so not divorcing has quite a lot of incentive. Of course being miserable in the marriage just for the sake of the kids probably doesn’t end up too well either, ideally the best outcome is to move on with life.