There seems to be a mindset among a large number of people that if a person's behaviors fall into certain socially "protected" categories, that they should be able to do whatever they want, with no consequences, or if there are consequences, they should be compensated for by the rest of society.

> Is there just no monogamy in the gay male community?

Of course there is. There are also, for example, gay men who obstain from sex altogether for religious reasons. These group just doesn't get as much attention.

But the distributions are a bit different and the tail of the distribution is longer. See for example https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3334840/

    Number of partners, last year [median, range]:
    * Heterosexual men: 1 (0–99)
    * Heterosexual women: 1 (0–7)
    * MSM (Urban Men’s Health Study): 4 (0–500)
    * MSM (Seattle MSM RDD): 2 (0–300)
    
    Number of partners, lifetime [median, range]:
    * Heterosexual men: 8 (1–99)
    * Heterosexual women: 6 (1–99)
    * MSM (Urban Men’s Health Study): 45 (0–9005)

According to data from Okcupid, gay and straight people have about the same median number of partners. It's a small fraction of the gay community that is having just a ridiculous amount of sex.

There may be a sampling bias from okcupid, for both demographics, since iirc okcupid is more about dating than it is hookups.