> Is there just no monogamy in the gay male community?

Of course there is. There are also, for example, gay men who obstain from sex altogether for religious reasons. These group just doesn't get as much attention.

But the distributions are a bit different and the tail of the distribution is longer. See for example https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3334840/

    Number of partners, last year [median, range]:
    * Heterosexual men: 1 (0–99)
    * Heterosexual women: 1 (0–7)
    * MSM (Urban Men’s Health Study): 4 (0–500)
    * MSM (Seattle MSM RDD): 2 (0–300)
    
    Number of partners, lifetime [median, range]:
    * Heterosexual men: 8 (1–99)
    * Heterosexual women: 6 (1–99)
    * MSM (Urban Men’s Health Study): 45 (0–9005)