When a VC gives you a giant boatload of money, they insist you "scale up" the company overnight. So you go on a massive hiring spree, and get triple-digit team of engineers before having any market traction.

And they're tasked with building a product that can handle Google-levels of demand, though they currently only have two customers, neither of them paying.

It indeed is imperative, but not for technical reasons.

And then when the stock market drops by .1%, you lay off 30% of the workforce because that's what's needed for its survival.

I would take the money then do none of that. And now I got a 5 years runway, enough time to build a product people like and use, and by then the investors won't be angry anymore.

You would never get the money with this plan.

If the money comes with a stipulation that I have to spend it all in such a way that I screw myself and my company over, then I don’t want the money.

And is it because those strawman VCs are all stupid, or, is it somehow ...

They do that so you're screwed later on without them when that first bit of money starts to run out and boom they own your company