I generally agree with you. But on the other hand, my ADHD makes me way less reliable as an employee, a spouse, and a friend. I’m not sure it’s really right for me to expect people to continually bend over backwards to accommodate my disorder. My ADHD is an illness, and I don’t think that’s just because I’m expected to adhere to the norms of a neurotypical society. A world run according to ADHD norms would be an absolute nightmare to live in! I perhaps wish there was a wider and more correct understanding of the disorder (i.e., it doesn’t just affect children, it’s not only an attentional disorder, etc.), but I’m not particularly bothered by other people expecting me to adhere to social norms of timeliness, behavior, and so forth.

You put this quite well. I knew I was ADHD long ago, and just went about my life not wanting to change. And I even found a job which wasn't particularly negativley affected by it. But finally I realized how badly it was affecting my relationships with my spouse and child. I was not a reliable partner or parent. And that is what finally made me want to really understand more and try to control it better.

I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and I feel the same way about it. It's not an illness, it's simply a maladaptation to the kind of world we live in.

Most milder mental disorders are probably like this; it doesn't make any sense from the evolutionary point of view that a significant proportion of the population would have largely genetic trait that is only harmful in all situations. It's just that traits like ADHD and high levels of anxiety probably were helpful - or at least not harmful - in our evolutionary context, but are not anymore.

> It's just that traits like ADHD and high levels of anxiety probably were helpful - or at least not harmful - in our evolutionary context, but are not anymore.

This. In tribal times it was an asset. A few individuals that sleep till noon and stay up all night? Who cares. When the tribe got attacked by others or wild animals they could save 100-150 peoples lives.

it's a disorder when it effects how you function and how happy you are with your life. if you can live a happy life without medication, and neurotransmitter deficiencies, kudos.

some people with physical deficiencies have no issue navigating the world, and some do. same with queer folk. same with people with ADHD. sure there's a societal aspect, but there's also relationship aspects and everything else. we don't live in a vacuum. you can't look at it from the perspective of "if we were hunter-gatherers we would be fine" because that's not the reality of the world.

and fwiw there are plenty of things one can do that are not working 8 hours a day, that are not working during 9-5, that are not focus related. you just choose not to do them, or do not find the proper opportunity.

and that's why medication exists. so people _can_ do normal things and live a normal life. the system isn't great, to be fair, and i wish it were reformed, but until the glorious proletariat uprising, i'd prefer people get the mental health they need to focus on their lives and not some fictitious idea of what may be

> You can take medication to adhere to these artificial expectations on how an individual should function within society. Or you can live in a way that matches your natural behavior and capabilities.

What if the behaviour causes pain to you? What if it's the cause of your anxiety, depression, loneliness, addiction? Because at a certain point, you need to admit that it's not that you need a life that matches your capabilities, but some help.

Would you think the same if someone were short-sighted? Should they live in a way that everything is at arms reach?

If it makes them better than other people at reading things up close, such a person could thrive in an environment that demands that. Of course, they should also be able to wear glasses when the environment demands it.