vehicles are make noise with the engine and wheels, so light electric vehicles are super quiet, but heavy vehicles tend to be loud regardless when moving fast

Electric cars are certainly far from silent, and somewhere at the high end of city speeds they are hard to distinguish from other cars because most of the sound comes from the tires.

But subjectively I don't mind the tire noise nearly as much as the sound of an accelerating petrol engine.

When I’m walking next to a busy road (which the only two multiuse pathways near me are next to), it’s quite loud and most of the noise is tire noise. (To the point where you have to shout to have a conversation with someone walking with you.) Those trails would be much more pleasant without the cars there, electric or not.

It all sucks. High pitched tire wine, unbalanced thumps. Diesel engines are the worst.

True, but tire noise is sort of proportional to both weight and speed and electric vehicles are on average heavier due to huge batteries. So a fully electrified city would have a very different noise profile but not necessarily quieter or louder.

Fair point

I am dreading an EV dystopia where all vehicles are going slow enough to create a cacophony from the mandated low-speed sounds.

It would sound like something out of a William Gibson novel.

I apologize if this is a silly question but is that currently mandated or is this something that will likely be mandated when the EVs become dominant? My impression was that they are currently relatively silent but that might just because they are always in proximity to a combustion engine idling next to them.

Currently mandated - newer electric cars make this noise that I would put somewhere between "future theremin"[1] and "terrifying alien chorus."[2]

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Qe1wuDsXVk

[2] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvX7NnlhiOE

Bonus: Kia's sounds like an ambient synth track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdZwVJPN0Ow

There are electric school buses in my area that emit the sound of the Montreal Metro when driving at low speeds:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Hu_1JM_UiuA

This is because the manufacturer is based in Quebec.

it's worth testing indeed, that said these car sounds are under control, not impossible that in slow dense urban spot you can lower them