I have had the pleasure of clearing out the private stashes behind the washing machine or garages full of hidden empties despite the claims of a gullible enabler about the progress being made. 1l of 5% is barely going to wet the whistle of a dependent drinker making me less inclined to believe this is a unicorn case of magical moderation. If there is one thing that happens very early in problem drinking, it's all the fucking lies about drinking.
I did have the dis-pleasure of living with a proper alcoholic many years ago and she was exactly the type of person to have hidden stashes around the house. Alas, she was also the kind of drinker who needed to hit rock-bottom before she would even accept she had a problem and nothing I could do would be of any help to her.
She was a 'functioning alcoholic' able to hold down a job, be presentable and sociable. Also clever and devious enough to hide her problems from others to the extent that I left the relationship being perceived by others as the bad guy.
So yes, your points accepted but for the naivety on my part.
That’s not to say alcoholics are bad people. The need to drink is just an insane motivator for some. It makes it extremely hard to help them because it becomes nearly impossible to trust them, and that alone can be a massive strain on a relationship.
But I have no trouble believing a relationship would end with you looking “bad”; this sort of thing is part of hiding their problem and protecting their habit. You getting thrown under the bus is a strategy to draw attention away from evidence that her being an alcoholic was destructive to your relationship.
This is obvious to some people but has been a real revelation to me as I’ve gotten older and seen alcoholism around me more. It’s extremely insidious and difficult to navigate.
I don't know what went through his mind every morning but I'm sure that buying his daily alcohol fix was a top priority and everything else was secondary.
I figured that if he got up everyday without this nagging thought in his head then it may help him regain some semblance of control? Because I bought the same brand of drink and in enough quantity to ensure he wouldn't need to go out any buy anymore each day, it also helped him establish a steady routine. In a way, it made it boring for him but not to the point where he'll resort to his previous behaviour. The fact he isn't paying for it is also a motivating factor, obviously.
A year on and he's now in a routine where he doesn't drink before 3pm and then only one 1 ltr bottle of 5% strength cider. His health and general mood have both improved and, most importantly, there have been no hospital visits.
I describe him as alcohol dependent rather than a full-blown alcoholic because his drinking is more a learned habit rather than pure addiction. I'm not sure my strategy would work so well otherwise and I would certainly caution against it.