Something people don’t expect from alcoholics is that they become extremely effective at masking their issues. If they’re intelligent, they might even trick a lot of people around them into thinking they have a chronic illness or something - no one suspects a thing. In the way they speak and behave to hide their problem they show a sort of cunningness you don’t often see.

That’s not to say alcoholics are bad people. The need to drink is just an insane motivator for some. It makes it extremely hard to help them because it becomes nearly impossible to trust them, and that alone can be a massive strain on a relationship.

But I have no trouble believing a relationship would end with you looking “bad”; this sort of thing is part of hiding their problem and protecting their habit. You getting thrown under the bus is a strategy to draw attention away from evidence that her being an alcoholic was destructive to your relationship.

This is obvious to some people but has been a real revelation to me as I’ve gotten older and seen alcoholism around me more. It’s extremely insidious and difficult to navigate.