Re:Teaching is a slow process of becoming everything you hate
by jcims on Saturday March 12, 2022 @06:04PM
(#30655877)
Totally agree. My mom might get roasted for the few times she swatted me on the ass, but nobody would say a word about her moving my brother and i to a place five hours away from our dad and huge extended family. I would take the former every day if it would have prevented the latter.
Re:Teaching is a slow process of becoming everything you hate
by dorkwood on Saturday March 12, 2022 @08:24PM
(#30656926)
A similar thing happened to me. Except my parents decided, somehow, that moving one of us to live with my mom and the other to live with my dad five hours away was a good idea. I've tried to forgive them for doing this, but I'm not making much headway.
Re:Teaching is a slow process of becoming everything you hate
by moviewise on Sunday March 13, 2022 @10:47AM
(#30661662)
A helpful way to deal with childhood trauma, I've found, is to take a wide perspective. The speech that Tom Hanks as Walt Disney, who was abused by his father, gives in the 2013 movie "Saving Mr. Banks" beautifully encapsulates this idea and eloquently delivers this advice: overcome your past. Here is the full speech: https://moviewise.wordpress.com/2015/05/27/saving-mr-banks/
Re:Teaching is a slow process of becoming everything you hate
by dorkwood on Thursday March 17, 2022 @02:20AM
(#30708206)
Thank you for responding, but I don't find this advice particularly helpful. Yes, I am tired. Yes, I would love to overcome my past. How does one go about doing that?
This quote also leaves out the second part of their conversation -- the speech's emotional climax -- where Disney tells Travers she needs to forgive herself. This doesn't apply to me. I have nothing to forgive myself for.
Re:Teaching is a slow process of becoming everything you hate
by blindmute on Saturday March 12, 2022 @07:08PM
(#30656451)
Literally nothing is wrong with a controlled spanking
Re:Teaching is a slow process of becoming everything you hate
by mandmandam on Saturday March 12, 2022 @07:42PM
(#30656677)
You are egregiously wrong.
https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/uk/21/04/effect-spanking-br...
Re:Teaching is a slow process of becoming everything you hate
by KerrAvon on Saturday March 12, 2022 @07:35PM
(#30656635)
Even better, a controlled whipping. Flick that switch hard. Draw blood. Nothing teaches ‘em like the old methods.
Re:Teaching is a slow process of becoming everything you hate
by blindmute on Saturday March 12, 2022 @08:56PM
(#30657128)
Not necessary; a child's pain tolerance is very low. The goal is not to hurt them, but to dissuade them through unpleasant stimulus. The spank doesn't even need to be very hard. But you knew this already
My dad spanked me with his hand when I was a toddler. Not overly hard, and not after age 4, but still.
Do I think my dad could have made better parenting choices? Yes. Am I happy that he made substantial advances from what he learned as a kid? Also yes.
A small number of parents are legitimately abusive and should have their kids taken away. Some parents are amazing and talented care givers. Most are just muddling through and fall somewhere in between.
As a parent I am doing my best to keep raising the bar - no corporal punishment over here! But I am sure my children will still find myriad ways in which I have failed them as a parent. Kids don’t come with a manual, and “professional advice” is astoundingly inconsistent/conflicting. I think most parents are doing their best, it is just a hard and poorly understood problem.