Ouch, dude, you didn't have to stab me in the heart. But yeah, 100% same. I am just now, at the age of almost 42, starting to finally crawl out of that. I am ashamed that it took me most of my life and career but oh well.
> I think the key point for me is that once you control for all common human flaws, the developer is still far better suited to make an executive decision regarding a technology concern than anyone else on the team.
True, but then you get blamed for "not understanding business realities". I got super tired of being hinted that I "don't get it" or whatever, especially having in mind that I launched products whose launch date I was not consulted about, repeatedly, and still get treated like dirt. I started pushing back on micro-management, fiercely and sometimes rudely.
You know what's the funniest part? It works. People start looking at you very differently and suddenly negotiations are an option. I guess it was possible all along and the business people are like "push him, he's a tech nerd, he'll fold".
We should start getting aware how are others viewing us and integrate this knowledge into our negotiation strategy.
I recently made the mistake of deferring to the anxieties and fears of non-developers for so long that I almost forgot how we got to where we are today or what my true capabilities are.
You know exactly what those assholes are thinking when you say the word "refactor" or "iterate". It starts to become a psychological horror experience if you let it get out of control for too long.
Now don't get me wrong. At the end of the day I love and care for our customer too. I just don't let their minute-by-minute feature request stream live rent free in my head the same way the rest of the team does.