These days I try to override the feeling and initiate first, because I know that she really does want to hang out, but the feeling is deeply ingrained and hard to shake.
What I'm basically saying is that maybe you should try a bit more, because this way has certainly lost you a few friends over the years. Maybe it works for you, though, no judgment.
I decided to do it. It didn't come naturally.
He was happy I called.
I don't know next time we'll call because none of us are the kind who does call for no good reason (maybe a reason why we like each other ; - )
I guess you are not completely aware that you just said that my friends are stupid because they accept to be mistreated by someone who's selfish an lazy.
But guess what, friendship in not only a two way street, it's also usually a non overlapping set of different personalities.
A friend is that person that has those qualities you miss, that kinda completes you, and vice versa.
And is that person that accepts you for being you, exactly you, not some imaginary version of you.
What I miss in something, I compensate with something else that my friends miss.
Easy as that.
Rest assured that if they wanted me to call them more, they'd tell me.
p.s. If you don't accept as a friend someone who doesn't call you as often as you do, you have a simple choice: find people like you.
My friends don't mind and after almost 30 years, I don't think they will suddenly start.
That's me.
that's why my friends are the ones who contact me.
they are my reminder.
if I start contacting them now, they would think I am going to die soon.
> I see what this person is doing as a way to remove the friction and create a new habit
It doesn't work like that though.
It's not like using an alarm to wake up at a certain hour and suddenly you realize your sleep cycle has adapted, what this person is doing is more like a grocery list, you'll never stop needing one, if you needed one in the first place.
Moreover, the simple fact that people are in different lists and lists have to be maintained and updated, it makes it more like a job than a habit.