That's surprising to hear. I have lived in Tokyo a fair amount of time (5+ years) and only experienced true racism, e.g. being not being allowed in a place for being non-Japanese, a handful of times, and those were mostly for what would be considered nighttime establishment that are a bit shady. Not doubting your experience, just putting this here as another data point.
Most of the times being treated differently was just other people being scared of talking English and avoiding me, but that usually fixed itself when they realize I speak Japanese.
Unrelated, but I think a lot of the foreigners in Tokyo are oversensitive to racism because they have never experienced looking different in their own country - that leads itself to interpreting all kinds of tiny acts as racist when something doesn't go the way they want. But in reality many of the acts have a different cause behind them, like the insecurity of the other person.
EDIT: Clarification
I'm white so don't have any personal experience, but my partner is a brown immigrant to the UK and has experienced nothing even remotely close to that anywhere she's been in UK or Europe.
There is your occasional nutjob small business owner that also kicks foreigners out, but that’s actually quite rare.
But this is the racism that Western people suffer. Chinese people, especially mainlanders, are targetted quite badly.
I will not lie - the moment that you are perceived as Chinese, a lot of people can become assholes. Unfortunately, there is way too much nationalistic propaganda around.
But it’s also a place full of amazing people too. People who will appreciate you for what you are. I wouldn’t write off the whole country. But you do have to develop a thicker skin, unfortunately.
Snack bars aren't anything forbidden or erotic, they're bars where women are employed to speak to the customers and entertain them (again, not in an erotic way), that's it. I live in a suburb with lots of them around, it's not some kind of red light district filled with brothels, they're just bars I pass that usually have badly sung karaoke blasting out.
I also don't understand the replies you're getting as they seem to have run with this misconception, I can't be sure these people have even visited Japan!
Also, you're expected to be on your BEST behaviour. DO NOT EMBARRASS PEOPLE, because the responsible person will suffer for it (not you, but please, don't be a dick).
Actually, if you want to get a peek at what the underbelly looks like (with a lot of creative license of course), check out "The Naked Director". It was quite refreshing compared to the regular pablum of Japanese television.
I haven't been to many, so I can't really speak to that. I tried a few times and had no trouble getting in, but I was with Japanese friends. May have been a different story if I had been alone.
This is not to say there is no racism in Japan, but for resorts it's most likely they don't have the capacity to help in English/Foreign Language.
If it's some seedy thing, like a cheap/seedy bar, karaoke, J/KTV or sexual services then it's both, no English and they want discretion.
Funny thing about the oversensitivity to racism: many foreigners assume racism, but if they understood Korean they'd figure out that either they're not the topic of discussion, or the locals are gossiping or speaking the same way they would about a local Korean person as well.
But, yeah, using emi (笑） or ww as a guy is a very huge social gaffe if not used sarcastically. You can use it it, but better with close relationships, like really close - and that whole "ne" and up pitch voice also is 100% accurate.
With that said, ne, "sou da ne?/そうだね" is acceptable as a guy if it's usually sarcastic or mocking - context: drinks, talking about friends or such - or teasing one another about their gf/wife - 100% acceptable. Doing it at a mall, store, work, no - and they won't tell you!
-- For the older timers/gaijin bubble, it depends. I find the older crowd, if they're settled and have a family a huge plus. If they're an English Teacher/in Eikawa, avoid - that sounds rude and cruel, but if someones early 20's and in JET - that's acceptable, if they're mid 40's and trying to play as they're still in their 20's - they may know a few things and such but it's not a good sign usually.
I have noticed the same problem. Interesting to hear someone else say that, too. I always thought it was a "native male" thing... women could make native women friends that were only friends. Any native men "friends" were roughly always trying to be slightly more than friends. Men could make native women friends and truly only be friends. Men didn't make friends with many native men, at least beyond superficial relationships...
I worked in a Japanese company for years and made a number of good friends (of the same gender) who I’m still in contact with, and see whenever I go back.
Also the more you learn the language the more chance you’ll have of reaching a role of importance. That’s the same pretty much everywhere though. If people have trouble communicating with you or you cannot express a complex concept then you’ll be bypassed.
I recognize the word "dame" from playing the game of Go, where it means [1] a neutral point of no value. Curiously, that page says "It also has the everyday Japanese meanings of bad, don't do it."
So foreigners are bad, don't do them :-)
I'm a big guy, sometimes people make space for me on the train or whatever. It isn't racism. I'm a scary and weird looking guy too by local standards, it isn't racism when people gawk a little sometimes. People talk to me like a kid after I completely botch some basic phrase
The only racist thing that ever happened to me in years living there was this: I went to a bar with my white friend, and they said "No American" and made an x sign at us. I asked in Japanese "sorry, what was that you said?" and suddenly they welcomed us in.. I guess they just didn't want rowdy dudes who can't speak the language. Definitely not acceptable behavior from them, but not too bad IMO. I get way worse treatment in the USA for being Hispanic than I ever do for being a foreigner in Japan
The expat community in Tokyo is kinda obnoxious. There are a lot of lazy, burned out guys who complain about everything
How is that unique? Sounds like the expat community in any other Asian city.
The biggest issues are crowding and racism. Don't expect to get into any role of importance, and don't freak out when you hear "gaijin dame" (no foreigners allowed) in some places, or people sudenly moving to seats and tables further from you. On the other side of the coin, you won't be expected to understand how things work, so they'll be very forgiving (in a condescending way) of social gaffes and the strange way you act (after all, you're a foreigner; they all act that way). Many rules won't apply to you, unless you make an effort to have them apply to you (don't do this). You'll make few (if any) friends of the same gender. You will alway be an outsider. If you can live with this, you'll have a fun and interesting time there.
Edit: Also, make friends with some oldtimers in the expat community (as long as they're not the jaded kind). They are a treasure trove of information and help.
Edit 2: Don't learn Japanese from someone of the opposite gender (unless they're a trained language teacher). You'll sound ridiculous when you speak otherwise, because men and women use very different words and turns of phrases in many cases (nothing worse than hearing a man say "atashi" or the up-pitch "ne" unless he's in drag). Reading Japanese comic books can be helpful here because they tend towards hyperbole, which makes it easier to pick out the differences. I've found that female artists tend to play with language more than male artists.
Edit 3: DO NOT BREAK THE LAW. Getting arrested in Japan is a hellish experience, and prison is even worse. Their justice system is still quite medieval. Quoting a friend of mine: "Japan is the most advanced 3rd world country I've seen."