No one is talking about what should happen. They're saying that, as you've confirmed, m.* is a separate resource from en.* because they exist as 2 separate pages on wikipedia.org. On the en.* page, people on mobile are incorrectly redirected to m.* which it seems that everyone agrees shouldn't be the behavior. The opposite, m.* redirecting people on desktop, doesn't occur.
That means that your statement that "URLs should be for a specific resource" contradicts your other statement that "sharing that URL ought [not] to send anyone to the mobile design". If the mobile page is a separate resource, then sending someone a link to m.* should always load that resource (the mobile version) which seems to the be the opposite of what you're suggesting.
Additionally, there seems to be additional confusion because everyone is assuming that the page loaded at m.* is the same page as that loaded on en.* but that doesn't seem to be the case as the page isn't responsive. It's the same text content but the stylesheet and headers are different which, by web standards, is a separate resource.
Everyone agrees with you on this point. You shouldn't need to manually manipulate anything but, because Wikipedia keeps a desktop resource and a mobile resource, there is a distinction and so you do need to manually manipulate it if you're sending a link from mobile to someone else and don't know their device. That doesn't change the fact that sending a mobile URL should always show the mobile page because that is, in fact, a unique resource and, therefore, has a unique URL.
As I've explained, even knowing their device is not sufficient, because someone on a desktop device may prefer the "mobile" design (which is responsive) or someone on a mobile device may prefer the desktop design (because it apparently contains more features). And if you're sharing the link with multiple people or publicly, you obviously can't accommodate mutually exclusive preferences.
If en.m. is asking for the mobile version, then en. is asking for the desktop version, yes? So why does en. redirect to en.m. on mobile?
It reflects the fact that standard pages existed before mobile pages did.
It's relevant that there are functional differences because those are not presentational differences. HTML is for content, CSS is for presentation. If the HTML is different, then it's a different resource and, therefore, gets a different resource locator (URL).