It goes against pretty much everything in the zeitgeist, but yeah, men and boys are really hurting from this lack of all-male spaces. I hope culture boomerangs around enough to permit them sometime soon.

Duke has a space for men: "The Duke Men's Project is an initiative to call men in to conversations about feminism and gender oppression. It aims to create a space of brotherhood and fellowship dedicated to interrogating male privilege and patriarchy as it exists in our lives, our campus and our society." as sponsored by the Duke Women’s Center.

That's pretty much the kind of thing that is available for men.

Is this the antithesis of going to the psychologist? You go in there to feel bad about yourself?

Shooting clubs. The really aggressive ones that meet in the woods to "train". Still predominantly all-male.

Yeah, that and an enormous number of other nearly all-male hobbies. Unfortunately this leaves men who aren't in to trains, electronics, shooting, cars, or other stuff with few options.

Obvious disclaimer: there are plenty of women who like trains, electronics, shooting, cars and other stuff, but that doesn't change the very high chance of finding the romanticized "all-male-space" if you show to a rail fan meetup.

For when you want to meet all the feds in your area.

Of course. They are members of the clubs.

and on the other hand I see clubs such as Machining, Astronomy (and to a lesser degree HAM ?) struggling not to just be a dwindling old guy club.

Judging from the number of views machining videos get on YouTube, I suspect at least machining will have a chance of growing big again, under the name of "making".

I recently came to realize that many addiction groups are actually a social replacement for buddies who used to go out drinking / partying all the time.

Since they can no longer party, a replacement group is needed and they all immediately share in common that they don’t want to drink or take drugs.

Maybe this is common knowledge but it was a lightbulb moment for me when I realized it.

I’ve long wished for AA type groups for people who arent necessarily struggling with addiction.

We’re all struggling.

My ideal would be a group with some shared interest and shared goals who meet on a recurring basis. Typically that is merged with working in an office, so the demand for such a group is mostly satisfied. But it really leaves behind people who work from home (and people who have few coworkers and/or don’t like them).

> I’ve long wished for AA type groups for people who arent necessarily struggling with addiction.

There are plenty of groups based on application of religious lore (often, very similar to the lore applied by AA) to aspects of behavior besides addiction.

I'm not sure that's entirely true. I feel like the same dynamic is still present in mixed-gender salons.

I can vouch that in both Black and Puerto Rican barbershops, the ones in my neighborhood and have attended for most of my life, the range of possible topics is much less confined than a unisex space. Like, to the degree that I have to question your level of experience.

It's not just dude's safely talking about their problems as the article highlights, that's an aspect, its literally dudes speaking freely without female intervention, e.g. men talking sex, etc.

When a mother comes in to drop off her son or waits idly with him until he's gotten his cut, or a barber's girlfriend makes a quick stop in, the topics will change. Dudes don't just keep talking about the multiple women that they're engaging simultaneously in the presence of women (I understand one may find this topic distasteful but that's how some men use that space) , particularly since in these neighborhoods there are three degrees of separation or less, if not out of simple decency.

Edit: Just to inflect this even more personally, my mother even was explicit about her desire for me to be acculturated more thoroughly in common Black masculinity by dropping me off at the barber shop because I was, relative to the other men in the world I grew up in, too bookish and (what gets called) introverted (I don't really like the use of that term but that's a different discussion), i.e. relatively feminine. That didn't really work, lol, but it was one of the few times she made her thought process explicit in my presence, which is why I distinctly remember it.

Barber shops are also full of the most toxic ignorant drivel you can possibly find in the physical world.

This article and the positive comments highlights a need for actual mental health advocates aimed at men.

Eh, as a Black male, the possibility of ignorant shit tends to accord with how young the age average of the barbers is, older/elderly barbers aren't treated as peers usually and so have a modicum of authority to curtail discussions when they feel its out-of-line or inappropriate, not to mention they're usually more thoroughly religiously observant. The church use to be a space for discussion with an authority figure like that but most Black men, particularly younger ones, have evacuated the church.

This article and the positive comments highlights a need for actual mental health advocates aimed at men.

As someone who sees a therapist, there are issues more amenable to a public discussion with other men of your background (we're social animals after all) and there are issues that definitely should be addressed to a dispassionate professional. If the studies the article cites demonstrate literal public health improvement for Black men from attending that kind of space, there is something right being done there.

You may not realize this, but policing the speech of communities and advocating that they be re-educated by the proper authorities has historically been the stuff of nightmares.

The article: Men need to see therapists and barber shops have filled in the gap but are woefully inadequate but one person is raising awareness about that using barber shops.

My comment: Men need to see therapists and barber shops have filled in the gap but are woefully inadequate [because they are filled with ignorant toxic vitriol, which you may not notice if you aren’t familiar with the culture] but one person is raising awareness about that using barber shops.

Yours and another comment: re-education!? policing speech!? wrong think!?

I literally have no idea how you and others came get that reading from what I wrote while the article is saying the same thing.

What’s does an “actual mental health” advocate for men look like to you?

Clearly men are resonating with these barbershops, clearly they find emotional and mental value in them, as far as I can tell there hasn’t been some streak of violence or angst generated by their members, so what more could you ask for? I think these men know better about what is best for themselves than you do from the outside looking in.

I think you’re getting criticism because “actual mental health advocates” - when these men are self-selecting their mental health advocates already - sounds like coded language for “mental health advocates I find more palatable”.

yeah that's probably what's happening

my point is for there to be more options, perhaps even licensed professionals which is somehow weird to suggest, in my model people can still go get their toxic dose of reality at community barbershops, they just don't have to rely on that

So they can be trained to think 'correctly'?

Interesting. How many barber shops have you researched to reach that conclusion?