Really? How have you defined common? Where is that data from? I can't imagine anything more than a tiny fraction of car owners are doing this. Most people are not hacking their cars, building Raspberry Pi controllers for their toilets, or have any desire whatsoever to side load an app on their iPhone. The HN community is not representative of the overall population.
But no one says the car manufacturers are required to make a car where you can flash the ECU. There’s just no reason for them to block it. If someone came up with a way to steal your car by tricking your into running an app that flashed your ECU then you can bet Ford would disable it pretty quickly.
Sure there is… if they are providing warranty on the vehicle then they should definitely block ECU mods, as a customer could flash original firmware back after causing damage.
And I imagine you can easily make an engine over-rev or overheat with a modded ECU, perhaps to the point of causing a fire or other catastrophe.
To use a direct analogy with Apple's restrictions on users, you're free to modify and flash your car's ECU firmware. In fact, it's quite common.