My mindfulness practice led me to meltdown

Re:My mindfulness practice led me to meltdown by ghostbrainalpha on Tuesday July 20, 2021 @02:57PM (#27897720)

"western people sometimes come in wanting things to be intense, clinical and goal-oriented."

That describes me exactly. I spent forever look for a "quantified meditation" course.

I even kept a mediation journal where I could track how many times I lost track of my breath in a 5 minute session. I started out around 50 and was desperately trying to get to 0.

I even used an app that counts taps, that I would rest under my finger, so that I could mark each failure as quickly and easily as possible. Without trying to "remember" the count of failures because it would distract me from the breath.

I felt that if I could get to 0, that I wouldn't be ready for enlightenment, but I would at least achieve ACCESS CONCENTRATION and be able to enter the stream. At that point, it could become a spiritual practice, but I wanted to develop sufficient concentration abilities and conquer my ADHD before thinking too much about what mediation was actually for.

It's been really hard for me to let go of the idea that my meditation needs a score to track my progress.

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Re:My mindfulness practice led me to meltdown by cyberpunk on Tuesday July 20, 2021 @03:09PM (#27897888)

Woah that seems really the polar opposite of what I practice..

I think you’re doing yourself a bit wrong with this approach.

Can I suggest a book to you? It’s “Sit down and shut up” by Brad Warner, it may help.

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Re:My mindfulness practice led me to meltdown by ghostbrainalpha on Tuesday July 20, 2021 @05:52PM (#27899866)

Just downloaded it from Audible. Thanks.

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Re:My mindfulness practice led me to meltdown by denton-scratch on Wednesday July 21, 2021 @12:20PM (#27908267)

Goal-oriented meditation is not Buddhist meditation.

I once read a book by Aleister Crowley, that included a series of meditation practices intended to increase your personal power. The instruction was very similar to the instructions I had received for a type of mindfulness.

I never tried Crowley's practices; but still, for weeks after reading that book, I had a feeling of dread, as if something awful was following me around.

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Re:My mindfulness practice led me to meltdown by mirekrusin on Tuesday July 20, 2021 @04:35PM (#27898937)

Thank you for sharing, that feels bad and opposite indeed. I wonder what percentage of westerners approach it with this type of gym mindset?

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