It’s not really a choice, rather than an often very difficult process of discovery, if they manage to accept it at all. A good friend of mine struggled for years with their self acceptance and I only realized that in restrospect. But coming out liberated them and an avalanche of happiness, productivity and positivity happened.

It’s a real struggle, and by belittling or ignoring it we can only make it worse. It’s time to listen, respect and embrace.

You shouldn't assume that nonbinary and trans people "choose" their identity. They might choose to acknowledge it, to themselves or to others. At least, that's been my experience. It was a realization, not a choice.

so you can't gain an identity by choosing to do certain things? I can't identify as a runner because I didn't inherit the genes that make me in the top 0.1% of all runners?

So if you're female, it's because your parents are female?

How do you define “identity”?