Yeah, I think going out to find yourself or being transformed is mostly a fools errand.

I also don't regret my travels but didn't find any of that.

Wherever you go, there you are.

At first I just found that line funny, but the more I've traveled, the truer I've found it to be. A change in scenery can be immensely helpful in many ways, but you'll still relate to the world in fundamentally the same way once you're somewhere else.

I love that line, and it captures the nub of something deep about how we do and don't evolve through new experiences.

I do think we underestimate how much impact travel and exposure to other cultures can have, we don't feel "transformed", I like to think of it a bit like having a child, before you do so, it's possible to be completely clueless about a whole bunch of stuff, afterwards, you're still the same person, but there are hundreds of ideas and topics that you are aware of and understand to some level that you didn't before. What's more, you can tell quickly whether another person has similar knowledge. Something like growing older and (hopefully) wiser, but accelerated and pushed in new directions.

I was in my 20's at the height of the travel bubble running around hostels and such and.. yeah. So many people "looking for themselves" but if you step back and look, it's just hedonism which will never make you happy long term. Partying with other young people who share some parts of your world view and lounging around beautiful places is really really fun for a while, but it's hardly a recipe for a meaningful life. I did certainly gain a lot from those experiences but I also am glad I didn't spend the next 10 years doing the same thing. My current version of it is to move somewhere for 5+ years - really shows you how shallowly you understand anything about a different country while traveling.

Aye, same. No "regurts" as the bad tattoo says, and glad I did it, but the main takeaway for me was "the grass is greener...". Taught me to appreciate what we have and what we don't.

And I guess we all need to learn that lesson eventually. I just wish I learned that in, say, Los Angeles or Denver or something, and not in a place that gave me bedbugs.

I suppose it depends on where you’re starting from. I started traveling at the end of 2019, and I’m still doing it. I’ve matured in all sorts of ways. For me, there was a lot I didn’t like about my life before I left. The problems that were local I left behind, and the problems that followed me I worked on.

Its exploration and finding things you didn't expect that leave an impression on you. The common story is because it happened to people not looking for it.

If you go looking for things to leave an impression on you, it probably wont happen.

You’re in the company of people that comfortably go to Croatia Yacht Week, Ibiza opening parties, Cannes Film Festival etc. Not just wage workers taking an aimless break to say they travelled, or college students on their gap year.

> Now, almost, 10 years later it just feel like it never happen, memories are fading fast as I went with settled life.

Dang. As a nerd in his late 20s thinking the same, you make it sound pretty bleak, tbh. I guess it's just time for me to settle down, then go explore the world with my partner because that's what matters EOD.

Counterpoint here: I travelled for about 8 months about 7 years ago (already? damn!) and it even though it didn't change me directly as a person, it did instill an ever-present hunger to see more of the world. More importantly, it made me marry my foreign travel-partner which has without a doubt been very transformative ;)

I am not really sentimental person and I refuse to take photos or even think about past much, so it is not bleak at all I just forget things very easily. I was driven by curiosity and after few years I was saturated. I still like to travel, it is just not only thing I am thinking about (and actually doing) day and night.

At that time I was also seeing new generation of wine makers back at my home that started to do things I always wanted to do and I felt that should be me. So I pack my bag, book a ticket and get my hands dirty (literally) by tending vines and making wine.

Memories of anything fade. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t have an effect.

I went to a spanish speaking country for eight months, learned Spanish, now still speak Spanish. And also came to know the country well. Still have friends from that time.

That’s absolutely transformative. The further you get from it the less it is relevant to your daily life, but it definitely has an impact.

But it also is no miracle. If you’re an (unhappy?) nerd at home you’ll be the same person abroad. As others mentioned “wherever you go, there you are” is just about the truest line there is relating to travel.

Very insightful point. Your current state depends on your previous state. You don't go through life unfazed. Every experience turns you into what you are the next day, which results in repeated transformations. A small change in your life then, e.g (deciding not to go to a Spanish-speaking country) would result in many changes, including your comment not existing, and me never having written this comment. Then it's funny to consider the chances that I would have gone on to make a life-changing decision because of this thread.

Pretty interesting stuff.

I'm not OP, but as someone who traveled for a few years without the goal of 'finding myself' i actually found the experience pretty transformative to my character. Yes, Some of the more 'backpacky' memories do fade(might also have to do with the excessive drinking associated with it).

I still found that by immersing yourself in other cultures and ways of living you can gain more perspective about your own goals in life and your personal choices.

My experience has been similar. I found in the short term I too wasn't transformed but after 15 years it is more apparent that the small changes that did take place during my travels have greatly shaped my life. A few things I can think off of the top of my head are: 1) I own few very things 2) I am far more frugal (especially when it comes to food.) 3) I take risk. 4) I value friendships as a great source of happiness. Little of of this was in my upbringing.