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Re:How the self-esteem craze took over America (2017) by Swizec on Saturday November 28, 2020 @01:52PM (#25239575)
Angela Duckworth and Stephen Dubner have a great podcast on this. The world is unfair and you aren’t guaranteed success no matter what you do.

But focusing on things you can control and having grit on average increases your chances. It’s a good default.

Re:How the self-esteem craze took over America (2017) by 2OEH8eoCRo0 on Saturday November 28, 2020 @03:32PM (#25240295)
Define success. I'm college educated and make nearly $100k a year. To me this is the bare minimum. I don't feel comfortable where I am but I still meet people who envy me. I'm just doing what I'm supposed to.

It wasn't even hard to get here.

Re:How the self-esteem craze took over America (2017) by throwaway201103 on Saturday November 28, 2020 @03:48PM (#25240406)
> I'm just doing what I'm supposed to.

From what I've seen, this is really the thing. Having a reasonably comfortable life is just about doing what you are supposed to do. Pay attention in school and make a decent effort at learning. Be sober at least most of the time. Get a job and take it seriously. Get married and be in a position to support your children before you have children. We've understood these things for millenia and they are encoded in our religions and cultural norms.

One of my favorite quotes from Calvin Coolidge: If all the folks would do the few simple things they know they ought to do, most of our big problems would take care of themselves.

Re:How the self-esteem craze took over America (2017) by zx321 on Saturday November 28, 2020 @09:40PM (#25242535)
Your list is missing a few things.

Be healthy, physically and mentally. Be born into a reasonably affluent family. Be able to attend a good school. Be able to find a partner.

Re:How the self-esteem craze took over America (2017) by Swizec on Saturday November 28, 2020 @05:14PM (#25240997)
> Define success

Success is personal. Whatever it means to you, believing you can achieve that and working towards it against setbacks, makes it more likely (but not guaranteed) that you eventually will.

Re:How the self-esteem craze took over America (2017) by hindsightbias on Saturday November 28, 2020 @06:27PM (#25241472)
A mark of a lot of successfull people is that they don’t feel comfortable no matter how far they go. I know many 40+ folks making 2X what you are, and they’re fearful of being let go. But we’re all survivors.

If you got this far w/o working too hard I’d suggest working a little harder to stay above your peers and diversify your future options. Gold rushes don’t last forever. Live to work (own business) or work to live (for someone else) and afford your hobbies.

[dead]
Re:How the self-esteem craze took over America (2017) by dang on Tuesday December 01, 2020 @04:49PM (#25270433)
Hey, could you please review https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html and stick to the rules when posting here?
Re:How the self-esteem craze took over America (2017) by cbanek on Saturday November 28, 2020 @02:33PM (#25239853)
Yes, this. I'm reminded of a great Captain Picard line after Data fails his game of strategema:

"It is possible to make no mistakes, and still lose. That is not a failing. That is life."

Re:How the self-esteem craze took over America (2017) by agumonkey on Saturday November 28, 2020 @02:04PM (#25239644)
There's an inverse notion too, that doubling down on efforts in an unfavorable context is just a quicker death.