It is a place of trust. Where the moral trusts the invisible unreachable and more powerful immortal. It’s almost like a submissive dynamics wherein our ego..the core of us beneath all the layers..gives up. It’s like sweet relief.
Does that make sense? To be a rationalist was the most desirable, easy and obvious position for me. Or so I thought. But what is the value of rationalism? Why should we value it over all else?
I think we can accept and embrace our complex nature of rationality, emotions, deep subconscious spaces, and find the ways to experience them and find peace: meditation, Voice Dialogue therapy, psychodelics, etc.
Once I found the levels of Ego Development by Susanne Cook-Greuter as a useful perspective, a path to push towards. Questioning rationality is, I guess, maps to level 5 there.
Have you considered "exploring faith" in a practical/historical/contextual sense? Such as: why did religion ever become a thing/how did it come about? What ever was its purpose? Why are there (and what are the) recurring themes amongst all religions? Where did the ideas behind Christianity/Judaism/Islam/Hinduism/Buddhism/etc originate - what do they have to say about X? Are what various religions preach/practice today - what they preached/practiced thousands of years ago? What about ancient religious texts not mainstay of any particular modern religion? What about language, meaning, human nature, and time? What of these things change and what of these things don't change? Where do they fit together? What about historical non-religious philosophical secular ideas? And on, and on...
I’ve done this for myself and found some satisfaction in it, and would think most anyone would too. That said, do I no longer have any qualms? No. Do I now believe in God(s)? That would all depend on what concept you behold to "God(s)". But mortality seems less bothersome now...